stress

i'm feeling pretty awful now...
it is a kind of holiday stress that i had never experience before...
super horrible..

coz holidays are suppose to be relaxing for me..
and i really dunno where the stress is from (T_T)
felt abit of meaningless in life [shit~ it is again the time of the year]
seems like this feeling will happen once every year or few year..
a feeling of meaningless in life..
like why am i doing this for? why do i live for?

a feeling that i wonder issit becoz i too free that's why i think in this way..
not too true.. coz i wasn't that free these few days..
was busy.. and i even went for a career talk that make me ponder abt work..
the career seems meaningful..
and i probably need such a career to make my life more worth
but at the moment, my life seems not worth.. i mean..
i'm not leading it well..
i could lead it better than it is now...

how to make myself better? i wonder.. i ponder... and yet i have no idea..
and i really dunno why i had such feelings... i was still pretty happy today
had a great lunch with er ge, saw kwet and sms liming,
went for the talk and met some nice ppl
got my ray magazine and had a coffee with kelly
chat with dear dear and now planning to watch hana yori dango..

everything is so great.. but i feel awful.. why?

last night i was worried abt one thing.. hana yori dango..
hana yori dango anime spoilt my 1st BGR
and i hope dorama hana yori dango 2 will not do the same..
coz i was shaken.. abit.. last night.. while watching..
haiz... i think i'm hopeless... cannot differentiate virtual and reality

back to dorama...